You got a light, Charlie Brown?"

Nodding, Charlie Brown engaged in a brief struggle with his shorts pocket and produced a silver Zippo lighter. He offered it to the tip of the Camel pinched between Linus' lips, then bummed a cigarette for himself, cupping his hand against the breeze as he lit it.

The two boys stood, resting their elbows on top of the low brick wall before them and cradling their chins in their hands. Charlie Brown reached up sporadically and ran his fingers along his scalp, as though he were hoping for a sudden rejuvenation of his decimated hairline.

Linus shot a jet of smoke into the sky and spoke again. "You ought to cut this out, Charlie Brown," he said, shaking his cigarette for emphasis. "It kills your endurance. You'd probably pitch better if you quit."

"Why don't you quit?"

Linus shrugged. "I don't pitch," he answered. "Besides, my mom took away my security blanket. A guy's gotta have something."

"Good grief."

Neither of them said anything for a few seconds; instead, they gazed abstractly towards the sidewalk, taking occasional pulls on their cigarettes and losing themselves in thought. The ensuing silence was interrupted by the song of a cardinal sitting in a nearby tree. Linus suddenly frowned and looked up quizzically.

"Hey Charlie Brown," he asked, "do you remember Woodstock?" It had been a while since he'd seen the little bird.

"Not very clearly. Schroeder got a hold of some bad acid just as the Grateful Dead went onstage, and he thought Jerry Garcia was Beethoven. Now he keeps this lava lamp bust of him on his piano."

"No, not the concert. I meant Woodstock the bird. Have you seen him lately?"

"Oh." Charlie Brown closed his eyes, dragged deeply and concentrated. "Let's see . . . last I heard, he was flying laps around that skeet shooting range every day to get in shape." He paused. "I haven't seen him all that recently. By the way, is Lucy still sweet on Schroeder?"

Linus shook his head. "You know who she likes these days?" he asked, not waiting for an answer. "The singer from Danzig. She watches MTV every night until three in the morning, hoping he'll be on. She thinks he's got cool sideburns."

"That heavy metal guy? The one who sounds like Elvis?"

Linus nodded.

"Say," Charlie Brown exclaimed, snapping his fingers. "That would explain the skull she had tattooed on her butt."

"Yeah," agreed Linus. "Dad almost killed her when he found ----" Suddenly, he glared at Charlie Brown. "Hey! How do you know about that?!"

Just then, a cloud of dirt paused before the boys on the sidewalk. A hand appeared from within it, thrusting a bent daisy towards them. "Would either of you like a flower?" spoke a voice inside the cloud. "The Universal Consciousness is found abundantly in nature."

Charlie Brown reeled back, his eyes wide with shock. "Pigpen?" he blurted. "Is that you?!"

"Go home, Pigpen," said Linus. "You're crazy and you need a bath."

"Would you care for some literature?" the voice asked. "Great beauty and peace are revealed in the writings of our prophets." A second hand emerged from the cloud, offering the boys a mud-covered pamphlet. Charlie Brown tweezed it gingerly between his finger and thumb.

"May the Universal Consciousness dwell within you always," the cloud called, drifting down the sidewalk.

"Right. See ya, Pigpen," shouted Charlie Brown. When the cloud had faded from earshot, he turned to Linus in disbelief. "What . . . did you . . ."

Linus stubbed out his cigarette and smirked. "Haven't you heard about Pigpen?" he replied. "He's a Moonie now. He hangs out in airports all the time."

"Good grief." Charlie Brown ran his fingers through his hair and sighed. "By the way, Charlie Brown: What's up with Snoopy? Somebody told me he's drying out in the . . ."

"Hey Chuck. What's up, Linus?" Peppermint Patty walked by, her smile forced and her hands balled into anxious fists. Marcie was trailing behind her, reading the side of a small cardboard box she was holding.

"If it's blue, that means you're pregnant, sir," Marcie called out.

"Blue, huh? I guess it's a boy," Peppermint Patty quivered, then burst into tears and sprinted down the street.

Marcie ran after her. "That's not what the color means, sir!"

Charlie Brown extinguished his cigarette and shook his head slowly. Several minutes passed in melancholy silence before he spoke again.

"I don't know, Linus. It's getting bad. You got any more cancer sticks on you?"

Linus shook his head.

"Good grief."