I like you just the way you are!" croons Mr. Rogers over and over each afternoon of our preschool years. But after Mr. Rogers ceases to be a regular afternoon living-room visitor, many women seldom hear those words again. So just what are women being told?

Our present predicament is a product of a rich history characterized by the "worthlessness" of women. Consequently, everything associated with femininity -- from behavior to physical appearance -- is viewed in a negative light. In contrast, stereotypical male characteristics are viewed in a positive light with respect to their female counterparts.

For example, the Old Testament declares "ceremonially unclean" any man or object in which a menstruating woman comes in contact. Along these same lines, Native Americans constructed huts, into which they banished menstruating women during their cycles.

Most devastatingly, the ultimate destruction of women takes place today in India. Newborn baby girls currently undergo execution. With a female child comes the curse of a costly dowry, and single life constitutes a fate worse than death for these women. Consequently, many families opt to terminate their daughter's life, rather than face the financial burden imposed by the birth of one of the "inferior sex." As a result, many a mother starves, strangles or suffocates her newborn baby burden. And, because sonograms serve as a means of sex selection, many are aborted.

Many people's knowledge of sexism is limited only to its occurrences in other countries and other time periods. Yet, both rape and domestic violence pose threats that many women face daily in this country. While these problems certainly have their roots buried deep within the underlying disrespect of women, and should be kept in mind, two less recognizable forms of gender minimization also exist.

Pick up the nearest magazine and look at the waif-like (admit it, gaunt) model on its cover. What is this starving human? A model of all that society expects of women. Yet, in comparison to this ideal woman, I fall short -- literally. On my 5-foot-1-inch frame, I carry 104 pounds but I do not believe that I am overweight. Conveniently, the weight charts also agree that I am within a healthy weight range. Yet one glance from my body to the waif's reveals that I possess what she does not -- thighs (and breasts).

These comprise the characteristics of a healthy woman, which I am. Unfortunately, society judges women against the unrealistic, unhealthy, unattainable image of a magazine model, rather than the health charts.

Consequently, the "ideal" woman is no longer a healthy woman. Yet, the model's slim silhouette represents much more than a move away from healthy, natural femininity. It also stages a step toward "boyishness" and "masculinity" -- and therefore self-destruction.

How does this affect everyday American life? Watch as women across America squeeze, squeeze their way to slimmer thighs. I am ashamed to admit it, but I own and use a Thighmaster to condense my curves in conforming to society's standards. Clearly the media sends the message that a woman can only show her worth after she has eradicated her inherent feminine characteristics.

Another seemingly innocent daily event is hair removal. When I asked friends, both male and female, to give their opinion of an unshaven female, I encountered a multitude of answers such as "unnatural," "unfeminine," "disgusting" and "undesirable."

This confuses me immensely. Because all women, as a matter of course, sprout leg hair, it is only natural and feminine to do so. And any man (or woman for that matter) who finds leg hair "disgusting" or "undesirable" actually finds true womanhood unappealing. This only serves as further evidence of the insidious disregard for women's worth.

Many may argue that men too are plagued by the spectors of body-image and body hair. Yet the essential difference lies in the fact that while women face pressure to minimize their natural feminine qualities, men face encouragement to pursue a heightened state of masculinity. This is evidenced by the drive to develop larger "manly" muscles. Even the shaving of facial hair is optional, with many men preferring to sport brawny beards and masculine mustaches.

To answer the question, "What are women being told?" I must say the value of masculinity is placed prominently before the value of femininity. Women, you must move away from what you are to be deemed worthy. This is what we are told. This is the message. This is to what we -- men and women -- must close our ears and open our eyes.