Cinderella, Dressed in yella', Goin' out to meet her fella',

How many kisses does she get?"

For many women, this is no ordinary rope-skipping rhyme. Rather, it marks the beginning of their invasion by a particularly pernicious parasite. This parasite feeds on a woman's natural need to live happily ever after. I've aptly named this condition the "Cinderella Complex".

Those who suffer from the "Cinderella Complex" share the unifying belief that they can only experience happiness through a man's undying love. And because Cinderella so successfully snags herself a very eligible bachelor, it only seems logical for these women to want to follow in her fragile footsteps.

The first question any true fairy-tale follower asks herself is,"What does Cindy have that I don't?". They find their answer, or so they think, in the relationship shared between Cindy and her sisters. Cinderella's daily drudgery cannot conceal her natural beauty. Ironically, it actually augments it by giving rise to another "desirable" quality -- servility. In contrast, Cindy's wicked stepsisters are both harsh and haggish. The natural conclusion a complex sufferer draws is that a woman cannot be desirable unless she is both weak and beautiful.

While these characteristics may appear to ensure romance, they are actually counter-productive to the achievement of happiness. The idea is introduced that a woman's restraint, rather than her accomplishments, determines her worth. Cinderella is not valued for what she is, but rather for what she isn't. Because many women are so obsessed with minimizing themselves, they are unable to get in touch with their needs. Consequently, they can never be met, and happiness can not follow.

Cinderella, of course, receives her reward for this self-sacrificing behavior with the appearance of her Fairy Godmother, who grants her wish to attend the royal ball. But first, her Fairy Godmother magically transforms her natural beauty into an "artificial" beauty that Prince Charming can appreciate. Because "Cinderella Complex" sufferers do not have access to magic, they instead display a preoccupation with the wonders of cosmetics and plastic surgery, which they depend on for their transformation.

Again the contrast between Cinderella and her sisters is displayed by the very different manner in which Prince Charming treats them. The stepsisters are dismissed with cultured disdain, while Cinderella is immediately adored. Why?

In these brief moments of introduction, none of their underlying characteristics are revealed. Prince Charming simply pursues the sister of greatest beauty. And Cinderella is certainly wise to this situation. For when the clock strikes midnight, she faces a choice. She can either explain her situation to Prince Charming and tarnish her image of supreme beauty, or run away and possibly never see him again -- we all know what she chooses.

This is a disastrous message to send out to women. Beauty puts them on a pedestal so high that to drop down from it can only lead to the destruction of their dreams. Prince Charming is appreciative of beauty, but not understanding of the lack of it. It is this dilemma that Cinderella followers fear.

Following the flight of Cinderella, Prince Charming finds her fragile, glass footwear. But it is not the slipper that convinces him that he has found the woman of his dreams. Rather, it is the beauty and fragility present in the woman who wears it. Because Cinderella fits the glass slipper, that cast of subservience, and her sisters do not, she is entitled to experience the ultimate gift of happiness -- Prince Charming himself.

This is the deadly aspect of the disease. For, after a woman dedicates her entire life to the pursuit of pleasing men, she inevitably will possess one. But then what? Will she live happily ever after? The problem lies in the fact that, Cinderella never tells us what happily ever after is. Prince Charming may know how to make a woman eternally happy, but he never passed that mystifying trait on to his sons.

If a woman expects happiness, and does not receive it, she may grow to resent her hubby, believing that somehow he has failed her, when in actuality, she has failed herself. Likewise, he may grow to resent the unrealistic strain she has placed on him. Worse yet, a woman may find herself unable to leave an abusive relationship because admitting that this "unhappy" situation exists is to undermine her entire life's quest. Somehow it seems easier to deny its presence and just live with it.

Now, don't misunderstand me here. I am not male-bashing. Rather, I am trying to convey the idea that it is not the responsibility of any man to be the sole source of any woman's happiness. It is simply impossible. No person, male or female, can make another person entirely happy. The only source of happiness is self-fulfillment, not clinging tightly to Prince Charming.

The moral of the story is, until a woman can find true happiness within herself, she can never live "happily ever after".