OK. Now that you've had two weeks since winter break to digest "the deuce," known to the rest of the world as espn2, it's time to turn loose the resident all-sports network critic.

In case you don't follow sports programming on TV, or you don't have cable (like the unfortunate souls in West Halls) espn2 is the offshoot network of ESPN. It's a version of the sports network geared toward younger, trendy MTV-generation viewers.

The channel itself (TCI Ch. 44) is actually pretty cool. "The deuce" shows things like mountain-bike racing, truck pulls and hockey. ESPN "classic" shows actual sports like football and college basketball. Throw in the KBL sports channel from Pittsburgh, with soccer games and Penguins stuff, and you've got your own Olympics Triplecast. One exception, espn2 might actually be more successful in the end.

But as much as a lot of us absolutely love sports, is "the deuce" really a necessary invention? Yeah it's cool, but some things will have to change.

firSt of aLL, the arbitrary cApitaLization of letteRs has to go. cAn you imAgiNe what a newspAper would look like if the editors decided to cApitaliZe letters whenever they felt like iT?

Not that it doesn't look cool to see nbA and nhL scores like this, but after a while it just stArts to hurt the eYes. ('nuFF sAid.)

Then there's Jim Rome and his brilliant talk2 show. He needs a sidekick. Somebody who actually knows how to conduct an interview with prominent sports personalities. Somebody like . . . Roy Firestone. There's enough goofy-looking hair between the two of them to supply the Hair Club for Men.

Actually, they should pair Rome with Keith Olbermann from their nightly Sportsnight show, the poor man's SportsCenter, and give the talk2 job to Olbermann's co-anchor Suzy Kolber.

In fact, they should probably just let her host all the shows. She could even make those incessant Super Bowl highlight shows watchable.

Suzy hosting Motorweek, Suzy hosting Max Out, Suzy hosting nhL hockey, Suzy hosting an exercise program with Cindy Crawford. Suzy, Suzy, Suzy, the list is endless . . .

But I digress.

Anyway, the Sportsnight show isn't half bad. Especially the little subtitles they give to the highlight clips they show. There's too many of them to go into detail, but one example is how they attribute their footage.

Instead of showing a highlight and putting, "Courtesy of ABC," they write, "thanks, ABC." And believe it or not, they capitalize network initials. That's pretty cool.

Another "show" worthy of watching doesn't come on until real late at night, after Conan O'Brien. It's when they show box score after box score to the tune of some pretty trendy music (read: Generation X stuff). However, I've yet to hear a cut from White Sox pitcher Jack McDowell's band.

There is one nice thing about the network though, besides Suzy. At least they can get some of the less popular shows off of the regular network. No more aerobics championships, lumberjack contests, rollerblade hockey or Max Out on ESPN.

All they need to do now is get rid of that asinine Amazing Games show. You know, the one that advertises sports like, "500 aborigines, two warrior-dressed captains, a 50-foot pole, and lots of bananas," or something to that affect, "next time on Amazing Games."

Let's not be too critical though. After all, espn2 is coming to our cozy little campus in February, to cover the Penn State-Iowa women's basketball game.

Maybe Suzy can host that game, too.