At his fraternity's dated function Dan and his date ate, drank and danced -- the only difference was that Dan's date was a man.

"Some people were a little uneasy at first because it was not something they were used to seeing," said Dan, who's name was changed for reasons of anonymity because he did not want to reveal his fraternity. "As the night wore on, the novelty wore off."

When he pledged his fraternity four years ago, he knew he was gay, but he was not out of the closet.

"I wasn't really comfortable with it personally and I was afraid of how people would react," Dan said.

Being in a fraternity had nothing to do with when Dan came out. He said most people had suspected he was gay and when he came out last summer it was not much of a surprise.

"I wasn't inhibited by my chapter," he said. "I had the attitude that if my chapter didn't like it, that's too bad."

Although some people do not socialize with him, Dan said one of the best things about coming out to his fraternity was the support he received from many of the members. He was inactive this semester, but not because of his sexual orientation.

"My true friends stuck by me," Dan said. "The people that are uncomfortable avoid me, and that's cool -- I can deal with that -- they're still civil."

Dan was not the only one who had to come out to fellow fraternity members. David Hamm (senior-political science) pledged his fraternity in the fall of 1990, and pretended to be straight until he no longer could. Hamm said he was not happy pretending to be something he was not. Out of respect for his fraternity he pretended to be straight, Hamm said.

"I didn't want to see pledge numbers go down," he said.

Hamm said that when he came out to the members in his fraternity, they did not stop talking to him, but behind his back a lot of talking went on.

"I have more respect for people who will talk to me and voice their opinions about how they feel . . . than those people who call me a faggot behind my back," Hamm said.

Coming out to fraternity members was a long, slow process for Hamm. Before he came out some did suspect he was gay, Hamm said.

"I was very ambiguous about my sexuality in the fraternity because almost all of my friends are women . . . they thought that since I was around so many women that I was straight . . . that confused them," Hamm said.

Hamm was not treated any differently after he came out, but people did watch what they said when he was around.

"If they said 'fag' they would apologize if they were making a conscious effort not to hurt my feelings," Hamm said.

Only people who can accept Hamm for what he is -- a gay man -- are his friends.

"I didn't go through 12 weeks of pledging to be shunned," Hamm said. "I went through 12 weeks of pledging for friendship and brotherhood and those who don't know me for who I am, I don't have any feelings for -- I don't have any brotherhood for."

An inactive member of his chapter, Hamm did not disassociate because of his sexual orientation. He did not have the money to continue being an active member, but said there is a problem with homophobia in the Greek community.

Interfraternity Council President Bill Donato said education is the key to alleviating the problem.

"One of the programs we've been working on is a diversity program; it's going to encompass race, creed, religion and sexual orientation," Donato said.

Panhellenic Council President Lisanne Farach said a program about homophobia in the Greek system was recently held --the first of its kind.

"I think that it's just an issue that's just taboo -- that nobody's really talked about -- but it has to be addressed," Farach said, adding that each sorority was required to send five members to the program.

But in some sororities, women are not accepting of lesbians and bisexuals. Stacey said when she came out last April as a bisexual during Pride Week, she got a mixed reaction from her sorority, and she was surprised. She thought the women would be more receptive.

"The people that were really my friends were supportive," said Stacey, whose name was changed for reasons of privacy. "The people who I thought were my friends but weren't my friends were negative. They wanted me out of the sorority."

A former member of a Panhellenic committee, Stacey said the members of her sorority knew she had come out but did not speak about it with Panhel.

"It was very much swept under the table," she said. "The sorority tried to keep it from Panhellenic. It went to the executive officers of my sorority instead of Panhellenic."

Stacey disaffiliated from her sorority after she came out and she said that in a roundabout way it was because she was bisexual.

"I disaffiliated because I didn't feel like I could be active in the gay, lesbian and bisexual communities and be a part of my sorority," she said. "I had to choose between the two."

Greek Life Coordinator Rick Funk said homophobia within the Greek community is no worse than it is on campus in general. Funk added that some chapters are more educated and aware than others, so one can not stereotype the whole system as homophobic.

But Hamm said there is a problem within the Greek system as a whole because there is no consistent tolerance or acceptance. Much of the homophobia in the Greek community exists because of peer pressure, he added.

"There's always one person in any group that people listen to and after a while of hearing the same hatred over and over again they begin to believe it -- look at Hitler, look at David Koresh," Hamm said.

Hamm said the problem must be addressed.

"I'm not here to put down my fraternity," Hamm said. "I'm here because there's a problem in the Greek system and gay people who are in fraternities now are scared to come out because of the reaction."

Dan agreed, but he does not think the system itself breeds homophobia. He said the biggest problem is that the issue is not talked about.

"This whole thing of herd mentality I think is bull -- we are all individuals," he said. "If the herd mentality was true than I should have had more problems with my chapter. I think individuals are homophobic, I think individuals are racist."

In Stacey's sorority many women did not understand her bisexuality, and if they had she said she might not have disaffiliated.

"Within my sorority, some women said, 'That's fine that you're queer, but why did you have to tell everyone?' " Stacey said, adding they asked her why she could not date only men if she was bisexual.

Stacey also said that if an educational program had been done within her sorority, rather than avoiding the topic, she would not have disaffiliated.

Funk said that until recently, homophobia was not often addressed and now IFC is looking into the diversity program. Homophobia was not an area that IFC stressed, Funk said, adding that sexual assault awareness and alcohol awareness have been more pressing. The diversity program may become mandatory for pledges, just as the alcohol and sexual assault awareness programs currently are, he said.

Farach agreed that education is the way to deal with homophobia, but Hamm said if people are not willing to listen, education will not help.

"They can do all the educating they want, but unless people are willing to understand and accept gays there's not going to be any change -- because there's always going to be that one person," Hamm said, adding that education has to start in the home.

The problem with homophobia is different for fraternities and sororities, Farach said.

"I think it's different with the sororities than it is with the fraternities because as far as large groups of men go, they try to uphold this macho image," she said. "As far as women go, they tend to be more understanding and open-minded to most issues."

Donato said he does not see much of a difference between homophobia in fraternities and sororities, but if there is a difference it is due to living conditions. In most fraternity houses there is not as much privacy as there is on sorority floors, even when showering, Donato said.