How was your weekend? Mine was . . . interesting. I went out with some friends, went to the theater and did a little soul searching.

It all started out innocently enough. We decided to have a "game night" at our apartment and invited over the normal motley crew of hooligans whom we call our friends. The game of the night was "True Colors." ("Do you see yourself as others see you?") As we passed around the deck of question cards we nominated the person we felt best fit the description or was the most likely to act in that certain way. For example, one question asked: You've just won $5 million dollars, WHO among you is most likely to keep clipping coupons? I was nominated for that one.

Even though there were some really silly questions, even questions about exotic fruit, there were also some that made us stop and think. There were even some that we chose not to answer because we didn't want to insult anyone. Or maybe we just didn't want people to know what we really thought about them, even though that's the purpose of the game. Of course, officially you're only supposed to play with six people (we had nine) and the voting is supposed to be done anonymously, but we were shouting out our opinions for the whole world, well, at least the whole room, to hear.

WHOSE laugh makes you laugh even more?

Come to think of it, we laughed a lot. Some questions fit a certain person just perfectly and everyone knew who that someone was and had no compunction in pointing to them. Other answers could have been anyone and everyone in the room. Some descriptions just didn't fit anyone.

A lot of us were surprised by the way other people perceived us. We just didn't think of ourselves in the same light and never imagined ourselves fitting the descriptions that were being passed around the room. It was very revealing -- we learned about ourselves and about our friends. But for me, the real soul searching came when people had said good night and there were only four of us left.

WHO in this group is really smart, but you'd never know it?

We sat on the couch, staring at each other, the wall, the blank TV screen, staring inside ourselves. These people who we called our friends, people we trusted and loved, had some very strange ideas about us. WHY? We all wondered. What did complete and total strangers think? Who needs enemies with friends like this?! No, actually, it probably wasn't that bad, but we did have a very long discussion about why people thought what they did, why they perceived us in certain ways and why we felt these perceptions were totally off the mark. We all found that our friends saw us as confident, secure, funny human beings, when in fact, we thought we were just inferior bundles of insecurity.

Everyone in the room is now undergoing hypnosis. WHOSE will is so strong they can't be put under?

I didn't talk very much, but as I sat in the living room, I saw my closest friends in a new light. Yeah, I knew they had their own set of problems, and for the most part, I knew what those problems were. But what I didn't realize was just how much these problems ruled their lives. Or how much my own problems had taken over in mine.

You may not know the old song lyric that goes "accentuate the positive, eliminate the negative," but it popped into my head as I listened to the various frustrations and dreams that were being voiced. Only, my friends were doing it in reverse. They were dwelling on everything that was negative in their lives and ignoring the positive. And what the rest of us thought was positive, what we thought were the things they did well, they brushed off. We seemed to have lost the art of graciously accepting a compliment.

It was hard to listen to them declare themselves failures in every way, when I could only think of their successes.

WHO actually believes winning isn't everything, it's the only thing?

Eventually we all said good night (eventually being 4 in the morning) and drifted off into our own worlds. But I'm sure we continued to think about what we'd seen and heard earlier. We continued to tear ourselves apart and build each other up.

It wasn't so much that we were comparing ourselves to our friends, although that is part of it. But we were really doing what we were best at: Simply being friends. Being there for each other when it was needed, even when it wasn't asked for. Especially when it wasn't asked for. Helping to solve each others' problems, to listen mostly, to be a shoulder, a smile, the voice of wisdom or a kick in the pants. And in the end, I think that's the greatest talent we all possess. It's a talent often overlooked and one we don't usually thank other people for having. So here and now, publicly, I'd like to thank everyone who was in my apartment that night for being there whenever I need you. The same goes for all the people I consider my friends. Without all of you, it wouldn't be so easy to be me. Thank you.