As they grow, children develop the skills they need to one day live on their own. Many of the games they play help them develop those skills.

Sandor Kiss, a graduate student in exercise and sports science, played with swords.

As a 14-year-old growing up in Brazil and admittedly shy, Kiss heard about fencing from a girlfriend's brother who was competing in the sport and wanted Kiss to try.

The same year he began he traveled with the national junior team throughout Brazil and South America. He credits the sport with giving him a more aggressive, more assertive personality.

Now, as a three-time Brazilian national epee champion in 1979, 1984 and '85, a South American epee champion in 1982 and '84, and a third-place finnisher in epee at the Pan-American Games in Mexico City, Kiss is a well respected official of the sport. He has officiated several U.S. national championships, the Pan-Am games and at the Seoul Olympics in 1988.

At the Olympics, Kiss was faced with an Italian coach well known for a nasty personality. After Kiss made a decision against the Italian fencer in the bout, the coach swore at him in Italian without knowing Kiss new enough of the language to understand the insult.

Kiss waved a black card signaling the coach was ejected from the bout.

"A lot of referees are afraid of applying the rules the way they were meant," Kiss said. "The coaches feel they can do whatever they want."

Contrary to what some people might think, Kiss said, referees do not throw coaches or athletes out of competition to get revenge but to follow the rules as they were intended.

"When a coach loses his temper, he has lost control," Kiss said. "We, as referees, have to maintain control."

This week, Kiss will officiate the NCAA fencing championship at the White Building.

Appearing as if he was ready to pick up a foil and begin fencing at any instant, Kiss talked enthusiastically about the sport he hopes to help grow in the United States.

Fencing in the U.S., like in Brazil, is not a popular sport. By teaching fencing in physical education classes and the Penn State fencing club, Kiss said he would like to help more people appreciate the sport as much as he does.

The fencing club holds meetings on Tuesday, Thursday and Sunday every week. Tuesday nights are the busiest because Kiss comes in to teach beginners said Karen Kessler, the club president.

"We didn't advertise for beginners before Sandor came," vice-president Bill Bechtel said. "Now people come in and say they saw the ad that it was beginners night. They come in and say show me something and we show them Sandor."

When it came time for Kiss to decide where he would continue his education, he said he had a difficult choice to make. If he chose engineering like he planned, he would have to give up the sport.

Instead, he chose to continue fencing. Fortunately, at the same time, Kiss, whose parents defected from Hungary when he was a child, received a scholarship to attend the Hungarian Physical Education Institute. He received his physical education degree, with a specialization in fencing, in 1979.

Since then he has participated in the sport as an athlete, coach and teacher.

"The greatest satisfaction is their interest and curiosity," Kiss said. "It's amazing to see them have fun in something they never expected to. It's amazing to see the shyest girl or the shyest guy in the class start to enjoy such an agressive sport."

The problem with the fencing in the U.S. is coaches who emphasize technique too much, Kiss said.

"Coaches in Europe beleive more than 50 percent of the emphasis should be on the psychology of the sport," he said. "It's not just physical. It has a real mental aspect as well, like chess."

Kiss said a fencer has to understand why an opponent's move has defeated him and then be able to recognize it and stop it the next time he sees it. But sometimes, he said, a fencer's emotions cloud his judgement.

Emotion, unless it is focused, causes a fencer to lose control and show weaknesses, he said. Opponents can use that to keep the fencer off balance, he said.

"If I saw an opponent lose control, I'd know the bout was half over," Kiss said.

Rather than let emotions take control and cause the fencer to lose focus, the athlete needs to "cool down the bout," he said.

A fencer will often take time between action in the bout while adjusting equipment or bending the weapon. During that time the fencer can think about solutions that can win the bout.

A referee can also help keep distractions during the bout to a minimum by making quick decisive calls, Kiss said. The technique, which he learned in Hungary, gives the fencer less time to think about and become frustrated by the decision, he said.

"As an athlete, when you lose, you try to find justification for losing," Kiss said. "Most of the time they blame the referee. But losses usually occur because the fencer made five big mistakes, while the referee only may have made one.

"It's a process of maturation. The better you get, the more able you are to take advantage of situations. The best fencers learn to guide their emotions toward the actions that help them win."