When Mickey Kim was growing up in Philadelphia, her mother and neighbors discouraged her from having serious relationships with non-Koreans.

"It's O.K. if you're friends, but nothing more," Kim said she had heard.

But at a panel discussion last night, she defended her decision to become involved in an interracial relationship.

"Interracial or not, people must respect you, otherwise that person would not be compatible with you." she said.

The more than 50 students and community members at the discussion sponsored by Project Growth, a division of Student Counselors/Campus Life Assistance Center, offered views ranging from cultural preservation to the notion that love conquers all.

"You can respect someone (of another culture), but if you truly love yourself, you would be with someone like yourself," said audience member Zachary Harris (junior-engineering).

But others said that true self-respect means the ability to have an open mind toward other cultures.

Many agreed that there is a double standard between interracial friendship and interracial romance.

Kim said that compatibility and not race should be the main factor in a relationship.

"It's not just your race or culture," she said. "It has to do with how well people understand each other."

Some African-American students disagreed, saying interracial relationships are detrimental to their culture since African-Americans should stick together to combat their history of oppression.

"In reality love cannot conquer all," one audience member said, adding that hatred from racism is apparent in society. "Blacks should have a greater obligation to their race than to a relationship," another audience member said.

Reggie K. Brooks, director of Minority Student Services, said that while many ideas where expressed, the program lacked a general theme.

He encouraged audience members to follow their own beliefs but also to refrain from imposing them on others.

He added that individuals should maintain control of their lives and never give others the power to define what is right.