For the longest time, I've wanted to write an Important Piece about Cable News Network and the effects of a 24-hour broadcast news channel. With the War in the Gulf in its third week, CNN has literally smothered us with eerie music, ominous graphics, vivid footage and terrible stories. The time has come to understand this monster they call CNN. The time has come.

Ideas were floating around my head for most of last week, but I never found the will to type them into this damn computer. I don't work well under normal conditions -- I hate offices and editors, especially when the nation is experiencing Economic Woes.

This newspaper says it's time to cut back, save money, tighten the belts because of the Recession. But I say it's all lies and just excuses to get out of buying me a lap-top computer, a laser printer and a fax machine. These are what Real Journalists work with, not cameras and makeup.

What the hell does this have to do with CNN? What I desperately need are the tools of the trade. So here is the connection -- the goons on CNN are anything but Real Journalists.

Granted, these goons are good at what they do, but what they do is speak eloquently about nothing at all. CNN is a beast, a 24-hour monster that bombards us with petty information and worthless press briefings. Maybe I'm missing something, but I don't see the importance of Bernard Shaw telling the world he's hiding underneath his bed in Baghdad.

Through its delivery, CNN boils out all of the meaning and importance of news. Of course, the daily Pentagon and military briefings must be covered because useful information does come up. But what good is there in setting up a camera in the back of a room and just turning it on? Transcripts don't tell me why things are happening.

News must be organized to be of any use. Real Journalists work with the information they are given, to understand the News, to help their audience understand the News. It's nice to know how many Scuds landed in Tel Aviv, but I want to know what it means. Why is Saddam Hussein launching missiles with little military value at civilian sites? What does he hope to gain? These are the question I want answered in my news, and I'm not getting that from CNN.

I can't help but think that there is something sinister about a 24-hour news channel, but it wasn't until I talked to assistant professor of political science Michael Berkman that I saw the real danger.

Berkman talked to me about the effects CNN has had on diplomacy between nations. He compared Bush and Saddam with Kennedy and Khrushchev during the Cuban missile crisis, and pointed out the fact that there was more backroom diplomacy in 1961.

"Kennedy and Khrushchev didn't have minute to minute diplomacy over the airwaves like Bush and Saddam do," he said.

Mr. Berkman did not say CNN was the cause of the War in Gulf because it gave no room for diplomacy, but maybe I am. Maybe.

Obviously, I came into this piece with a bias against CNN and broadcast journalism. I know where I picked up this bias -- watching a local TV crew cover a visiting Politician while I was covering the event for a local newspaper.

The TV reporter made sure his tie and hair were just right before going on air. Maybe that is a petty complaint, but it's also pathetic behavior.

Because I have such a strong distaste for broadcast journalism, I thought it would be a good idea to talk to someone who understands TV news. Steve Knowlton, an associate professor of journalism, was my man. He said CNN should be judged as an electronic version of the Associated Press wire service -- an AP with moving pictures.

"CNN does exactly what AP does, and that's provide lots and lots of raw information," he politely told me. "It would be absurd to ask CNN to perform on the level of the New York Times or the Atlantic Monthly."

I don't expect CNN to be an electronic version of the New York Times, but I do expect to get news from a channel that calls itself the Cable News Network. When I scan the AP wire, I can read about a chemical spill in western Ohio, an ordinance banning fire-places and wood burning in Vail, Colo., and Louisiana National Guard Soldiers threatening to go AWOL because the Army cut short a promised two-day leave. In other words, I can get news about the world outside of the War in the Gulf. CNN is no longer a 24-hour News channel, it's a 24-hour War channel.

When I first started writing this piece, about four hours ago, I wanted to give CNN a chance to defend itself, as a True Journalist would. Who better than Bernard Shaw?

I tried calling Mr. Shaw at the CNN office in Washington D.C., explaining to his secretary that I needed Mr. Shaw's insight on the purpose and benefits of 24-hour instantaneous news.

"That's just not possible," a weary voice told me. "Mr. Shaw is getting so many calls these days that he's just taking business calls. Please don't bother us again."

I quess many Important People were impressed with his live accounts of crawling around a Baghdad hotel floor. I tried again, this time telling the secretary I was a representative from Doubleday with a lucrative book offer.

"Mr. Shaw already has a publisher. Nice try." Click.