A panel of three married couples shared their experiences about healthy, loving relationships with students last night as part of "Healthy Loving Week."

The couples, Dan Brass and Karen Lobeck, Bob Godlove and Fran Bernart Godlove and Judy Albrecht and Denny Gioia, talked about their experiences on topics ranging from balancing a two-career household to dealing with day-to-day resentments. The discussion was sponsored by the University's Office of Health Promotion and Education.

"Flexibility is the key to everything related to being a couple," Gioia said, and most of the panelists agreed.

People who put their careers first and are less flexible seem to have a tougher time in a relationship, Bob Godlove said.

"If you define yourself as only what you do, then career is everything and can cause problems in a (relationship)," Lobeck said.

Once a person makes a commitment, they have to stop thinking as an independent person, Gioia added.

And with a relationship comes the need for communication -- the most important aspect of a healthy, loving relationship, the panel members said.

"You can't hold in resentments, it kills a relationship," Bob Godlove said, adding that it is important to be open and let your feelings out.

Gioia added that a relationship is not a simple or short-term process but requires a lot of thought to make sure the other partner is satisfied.

Couples must also deal with many pressures placed on the relationship such as raising children.

The panelists agreed that although the partners tried to share responsibilities equally, the partner with the more flexible schedule was often forced to take on the brunt of the duties.

Family pressures also rob the couples of their time together.

To temporarily escape the burdens of parenthood, couples may buy season tickets to theatrical or sporting events. These events force couples to leave the children at home and take time for themselves, Albrecht said.

The discussion gave an enlightening view on marriage to some students in the audience.

"I just got engaged and (the panel discussion) sort of made me feel good about the decisions I've already made," Danette Albert (senior-mechanical engineering) said. "It also gave me a few things to think about."

The discussion helped reinforce some views on marriage for Rebekah Hicks (senior-biology). "It was just nice to see the success stories based on what we're experiencing," she said.