Today is Samantha's first day of school at Penn State. And while she will have a lot of stress finding her classes and getting used to a large university, tomorrow is far more important to her.

Her future and that of the hundreds of thousands of other U.S. military personnel hinges on Jan. 15, the deadline set down by the United Nations for Iraq to withdraw from Kuwait.

As the country plunges into what could be a long, violent conflict, we must think about what we are asking of our service men and women.

When Samantha left for boot camp on Aug. 10 -- only eight days after the Iraqi invasion -- the situation drew little public attention. But as the days slowly passed, it became clear that an enormous military effort by the United States was quite possible.

"People started freaking out," she said of the atmosphere at boot camp. "It's so stressful going through bootcamp under conditions like that. It's stressful enough as it is, but then you have all these drill sergeants telling you you're going to Saudi Arabia to die."

Her base was put on red alert, some training sergeants were ordered to the gulf and one class that started after them was graduated earlier.

"I went into the women's showers one day and everyone was freaking out, saying 'Fuck this shit, I'm not going to Saudi Arabia,' " she said. "I know at least two women who went out and got pregnant to get out of the army."

In the past month, the media have given us a steady flow of images from the Middle East and interviews with countless officials and experts. But I still can't comprehend what the hell any of it means.

Perhaps the most disturbing of these images is that of soldiers solemnly celebrating Christmas. I saw an old high school friend who is stationed in Saudi Arabia, wish his family a merry Christmas via a videotaped TV message.

This weekend the Senate and House argued over whether war is really necessary. Both sides have talked about the possibility of military personnel dying.

"I will vote to authorize the president to have the power to go to war," said Sen. Joseph Lieberman, D-Conn. "I will do so in the knowledge that war may indeed be the result and that many good people may die. But I will cast that vote in the hopes that by so doing, I will make the prospects of peace more real."

While Sen. Sam Nunn, D-Ga., said, "Will I be able to look at the parents and the wives, the husbands and the children in the eye and say that their loved ones sacrificed their lives for a cause vital to the United States and that there was no other reasonable alternative? Mr. President, at this time I cannot."

Their rhetoric means little to me. It's clear they are going to stand behind George Bush's plan, however reluctant they may be to sacrifice young people's lives.

Guiltily, I must say that the whole crisis has been exciting to me. I've been enthralled by the complex negotiations, political power games, the moral arguments and the heightened tension. I've laughed at Gary Trudeau's parodies of the crisis in his Doonesbury comic strip.

But to so many people the 15th has a doomsday feeling to it.

Samantha joined the reserves to help pay for school. She was put in a combat medical unit, which means she'd be in the heart of any military conflict. Her dedication to the army is not based on any sense of patriotism but around her brother who joined the army at the same time.

"I won't back out of this because of my brother," she said to me. "I kept telling him that if I could do it, he could do it. We're in this together."

I've heard many arguments for and against war. I believe military involvement in the Gulf is absurd, but I don't hope to convince anyone of my opinions here.

Few people really want a war. And if they do, they probably haven't considered the consequences that it could bring.

There are all sorts of good reasons why we should attack Iraq. To show that unprevoked military take overs will not be tolerated. To keep Saddam Hussein from taking over the entire Middle East. To help protect vital world resources and economies. The list goes on.

But none of these reasons is worth Samantha's life.