Fear of rape is a cold wind blowing all of the time on a woman's hunched back.

-- Unknown

Most men, including myself, cannot even imagine what it must be like to live constrained by the fear of sexual assault. We can never truly understand how a women's freedom is restricted under this threat; how any thought of venturing out must be weighed against safety concerns.

Even here in State College, a woman who chances to walk alone after dark does so with a dry mouth and a quickened pulse, acutely aware of her vulnerability.

The sensitive male response to this fear is to protect. We offer to walk women home, set up escort services and organize neighborhood patrols, implying that by having good men to cling to, women can keep the bad men at bay.

These measures offer limited, even suspect, protection because they fail to acknowledge the true nature of sexual assault in our society.

In 50 to 75 percent of all rapes, the rapist is not some stranger lurking in the bushes on a poorly-lit street. He is someone the victim knows and may have even trusted.

As "normal" men, it is certainly easier for us to view rape as an anomaly committed by sick perverts. In that manner, we can avoid having the finger of blame pointed directly at us.

However, if we really want to "protect" the women in our lives from the horrors and traumatic pain of sexual assault, we need to begin examining our traditional male behaviors and recognizing how male sexuality, as a product of society, can predispose us to rape.

Through childhood and adolescence and into adulthood, we cultivate our masculinity by denying emotions and resisting vulnerability. Sex, with its potential for evoking intense emotions and for opening the doors to a shared intimacy, can threaten the male standards that are established.

Men have collectively responded to this threat by assuming an approach to sex where control is the ultimate aim. It then becomes a tool of dominance, something that we strive to take from women or to "get off of" them.

Sexual assault awareness programs repeatedly emphasize that rape is not an impulsive sexual act; it is a crime of violence and aggression. And yet, the problem with male sexuality is that it can so easily lead to that distinction being blurred.

As part of the socialization process that teaches us about masculinity, we learn that force or threat of force is a valid means for assuming and maintaining control. The extension of this notion to relationships with women follows far too easily. Proof is evident in the prevalence of sexual assault, as well as in the numerous instances of harassment that occur daily.

When I talk to people about this, they often tell me that I'm too negative and that male attitudes certainly aren't so overwhelmingly hostile toward women. Unfortunately, their arguments are never as persuasive as the examples that consistently arise:

-- A group of men run the Phi Psi 500 as the "He-man Women-hater's Club," and stage a mock beating of an inflatable doll on College Avenue.

-- The popular rock group 'Guns and Roses' release a song with the line "I used to love her, but I had to kill her."

-- In a study of college men, 35 percent admit they "might or would rape," if they knew that there was no chance of being caught.

When faced daily with this sort of reality, how can a woman ever feel safe?

Rape occurs in epic proportions. One out of every four college women will be a victim of attempted sexual assault while in school. One out of every three women will be raped at some point in her lifetime.

If we, as men, really care about women (and about justice), then we need to take steps to end this campaign of violence.

In our relationships with women, we should not allow sexuality to play such a pivotal role. Our lives will be enriched when we can expand our view of women, allowing them to be complete, multi-dimensional people, as opposed to objects.

To reduce the occurrence of rape, our approach to sex needs to be reexamined. We have to rid ourselves of the mindset that says manipulation and coercion are the keys to achieving sexual gratification. When a women says "No," we have to respect her decision.

Furthermore, this issue needs to be addressed in our relationships with other men. In locker rooms and fraternities -- wherever men get together, we need to confront those who brag about sexual conquests. Disapproval of sexual exploitation has to be voiced.

It is time for men to assume a collective responsibility for preventing sexual assault. Rape is not a female issue, it is a societal issue where men have the preeminent role. Therefore, by not taking any action to prevent rape, we will continue to give tacit approval to its existence.