The day after Emily aborted her pregnancy she walked alone from the bus station to Pollock Halls. It was late and she was lugging her heavy suitcases behind her.

"(I) ended up getting incredible cramps and bleeding horribly," said Emily, now a University graduate student. She lay on the bathroom floor and cried, thinking she was going to faint.

Then a freshman, Emily, who asked that her real name not be used, did not have an abortion in a back alley. But despite clinic care following the abortion, she confronted several psychological nightmares. Her roommate, for example, was horrified with the choice.

"She would not look at me straight and didn't want to be around me a whole lot. It was very uncomfortable being around her," Emily said. "Interestingly enough, she had one a couple of years later."

Emily's story and similar others have become the focus of national attention as the controversy over abortion re-awakens.

Court decisions and legislation across the country are challenging Roe vs. Wade, the 1973 Supreme Court decision that legalized abortion. Legislation passed in Pennsylvania in November will affect many women faced with unplanned pregnancies. The legislation bans abortions after the 24th week of pregnancy and for the purpose of sex selection. But a court injunction last week challenged the law's provisions requiring a 24-hour waiting period and husband's consent in some circumstances.

Emily was a freshman during the fall of 1983 when after about five months of dating, Emily and her boyfriend decided to include sex in their relationship.

"We just used condoms. We thought it was going to be okay -- and it wasn't," said Emily.

When she examined her options as a pregnant student, Emily went to the University's Ritenour Health Center for testing but was disappointed when they gave her only a pamphlet with a phone number on it.

Ritenour does offer health services where women can go if they suspect a pregnancy. Regarding specific counseling about options, Ritenour offers a brochure, "Making Choices," which lists the options and resources available in Centre County, said Susan Kennedy of the Office of Health Promotion and Education.

The amount of time a clinician discusses the situation with a woman may vary, Kennedy said, adding, "We don't offer any options counseling per se."

Emily's tests were positive and she was confronted with one of the most difficult decisions of her life.

"I had not thought much about abortion at all before I was pregnant . . . I never had a reason to think about it," Emily said.

But when she discovered she was pregnant, having an abortion was what Emily expected she would do.

Nonetheless, she said she seriously considered all her options.

"One of the things that really bothers me is when they seem to indicate that people just don't know all the options. The options are obvious," Emily said.

As a first-year student, Emily said she could not abandon her college career to carry a baby to term, and she did not believe she could give up the baby to someone else.

Emily's boyfriend, Joe, then a student at University of Pittsburgh, was supportive.

"He wanted to do whatever I wanted to do," Emily said. "He was willing to marry me if that was the case, pay for an abortion . . . so that was really helpful."

But later the abortion affected her relationship with The stress of coping with the situation led to them breaking up during Spring Semester, but they renewed their relationship and married after graduation.

Ritenour referred Emily to a counselor, who turned out to be a minister at the University.

"I pretty much went into there already having decided on abortion," she said. "(The minister) sat down and told me exactly what would happen, where I could go, and just the whole routine."

Emily decided to have an abortion and took a bus to Pittsburgh the weekend before finals.

Although she entered the clinic in Pittsburgh wary and apprehensive, Emily said the people were comforting and helpful.

"They were all women . . . they explained everything really well, they were super nice to you," she said. "The nurse was there holding your hand the whole way through. Afterwards there was this wonderful, little, cozy room with big armed, comfy chairs, cookies, and punch."

But she faced periods of guilt a month or two afterward.

"I even remember waking up in the night and sort of crying, 'My baby, my baby,' " she said.

It took about a year until she was able to feel better about her decision. She remembers being upset during the time the baby would have been born, and again on the first anniversary of the day she went to Pittsburgh for the abortion.

Still, Emily remains confident with her decision.

"I still never have really felt that I murdered anyone," she said. "I don't think that life begins at conception . . . but you couldn't help but have doubts, and worry about it.

"I would still go back and do the same thing, but it's not the kind of position you want to be in . . . it was just the best of a lot of bad choices."

Six years later, Emily complains she did not really know enough about birth control.

"I knew you had to use something, but I didn't know the chances . . . After that, absolutely, my children will know what is good and what is not."

Emily and Joe now have an 8-month-old daughter who is "absolutely the light of (their) life."

But she also said that no one should have to go through pregnancy if they don't want to, Emily said.

"It was nine months of sheer hell," Emily said. "It's worth it if it's something you really want."

"We were thrilled to death, we wanted that, and I was willing to go through it, but if you're not, there's just no way anyone should have to do that," she said.

Now, Emily said she fully understands the pro-choice stand on abortion.

"I really understand now the business about, 'It's your body, you should make the choice," Emily said. After her daughter's birth, she said carrying a baby was like an "invasion" of the woman's body - - the baby actually controls what goes on inside the woman during pregnancy.

"It's your own body and that's really why you should have the choice," she said.

Regarding the recent controls placed on abortion last month in Pennsylvania , Emily said, "It does nothing but further torture the poor woman who's got to deal with all this in the first place," she said.

Pro-life supporters are not realistic in their views of abortion, Emily said.

"They think you just casually go in there and have an abortion," she said.

Arguments that women do not know the alternatives to abortion are "silly," because the choices are obvious, Emily said.

Pro-life activists also say a woman "cannot possibly make a rational decision in that condition," Emily said, adding that this was simply not true in her case.

"Yes, I was extremely upset, but at least I sort of pride myself on really keeping a calm head in a lot of situations . . . and being able to look at all the alternatives and make a very rational, logical decision, which is what I think I did."