Q. What did one stack of bills say to the other stack of bills as they sat cramped in a bank vault?

A: "I vant to be a loan."

Starting out a semester with stupid jokes may not be wise, but even more stupid are students who let their grant and loan application deadlines pass unnoticed.

If you miss the recommended Feb. 15 submission date, you may be out of luck.

The common pitfalls of loan applicants, according to University financial aid officials, include:

-- Failing to sign applications (the slap-your-John-Hancock-or- else syndrome).

-- Not realizing one must apply for aid (the ask-and-ye-shall-receive gambit).

-- Failing to receive an application from the University (the my- dog-ate-it excuse).

Make your friendly neighborhood financial aid officer happy: send in your applications before Feb. 15.

Applications are available now --even as you read this -- in 314 Shields.

And just think -- you'll still have two stress-free months to prepare your income taxes.