"People who live in glass houses should not throw stones."

-- A very wise person

"Let you who is without sin cast the first stone."

-- Another very wise person

The story you are about to read is not true. The names have been made up to make a simple point.

This is the story of Sherman Schwaller, a young man whose only goal was to get a job at a business firm.

At 22, Sherman already was an expert at stapling and collating. He had practiced for years by stapling and arranging his college syllabi by color and subject. Sherman truly was a well-rounded, career-oriented young man. After he graduated from college, Sherman applied for the position of fourth auxiliary associate assistant to the main stapler at Clips, Staples and Useless Memos, Inc.

The job seemed a certain wrap up for Sherman until the second auxiliary associate assistant learned that during spring break in Jamaica, Sherman took home three towels, two bars of soap, three sanitary drinking glasses and one shower cap from the Ire Hilton.

The manager of Clips, Staples and Useless Memos Inc. frowned at Sherman and his tainted past and growled seven words that would haunt him the rest of his life: "You'll never work in this town, Schwaller."

Eventually, Sherman did find a job at the "Throw a pie in the clown's face and win a kewpie doll," venue at Coney Island.

Sherman's career demise saddened all of us, I'm sure. A young man infinitely capable of performing his job was ruined forever by one past error. Sherman would have made a great corporate stapler had he only learned to keep his hands off the towels.

Surprisingly enough, Sherman is not the only one whose life has been ruined by the resurrection of closet skeletons.

Media reports have tainted baseball great Pete Rose's image, stating he is a big-time gambler: betting on horse races, football games, weather patterns, cheerleading competitions and everything except baseball.

Also in baseball, superstar Wade Boggs' hero image has been deflated by his away game infidelity.

Strong rumors of alcoholism and international womanizing ruined John Tower's chances of gaining a cabinet position.

Finally, there's Kitty Dukakis. She dealt openly with her past addictions during her husband's presidential race, then had to admit to her drinking problem after the campaign.

The media should have made an issue only of Tower's drinking problem. Nobody wants a Secretary of Defense who confuses "the button" with "room service." Tower's opposition probably was afraid he'd get drunk and sell secrets to a prostitute in Amsterdam.

The other incidents are not matters of public concern and should not have received national attention.

Kitty Dukakis' drinking problem is personal. If anything, the media's constant hounding aggravated her condition. Campaign pressure restarted her drinking.

If Pete Rose committed the world's most heinous crime -- gambling -- then slap him on the wrist, give him a big fat fine and let the guy go back to being one of the best coaches in the national league. The incident shouldn't cloud the headlines.

Pete Rose has done more good in his life than bad. He has performed a great deal of community service in the Cincinnati area. He's a sports legend. But now everybody in Cincinnati and America calls him a bum.

Wade Boggs, who usually is written about for his team leadership and his batting expertise, now is written about only as an adulterer. Should we take the red "B" for Boston from his cap and make it a scarlet "A" for adultery?

It's none of my business.

I'm not saying,"Have another drink, Kitty,"or"Place your bets, Pete," or "Let's go get some dames, Wade."

I can't speak for everybody, but I'd guess we'd all appreciate the same treatment with our own problems. I'm sure we all have secrets in our past and in our present we'd rather not have broadcasted to every Tom, Dick and Harriet.

If all our faults were publicized, newscasts would last 17 hours, and newspapers would be thicker than War and Peace. Robert Frost beat his kids and Ty Cobb was a bigot. The list goes on and on.

Rose's problem is legal. It has no bearing on his performance as coach.

Boggs' problem, no matter how socially unacceptable, is a matter between him and his wife. He's a baseball player. We shouldn't expect him to be a superman of morals.

It's a shame these things happen but we shouldn't burn them at the stake. We either should try to help or leave them alone.

And what of poor Sherman? The last I heard, it was rumored he was fired from his job on Coney Island.

Apparently one night he got drunk with Kitty Dukakis and John Tower, then picked up some women with Wade Boggs and Pete Rose made bets on who would do better. His boss found out and he was fired. A sad ending to a story of a boy who could staple like the wind.

It's a sick, sick world. I'm glad I'm not here most of the time.