On several different occasions this year, my roommates and I have reflected on our childhoods and jokingly pictured ourselves growing old.

Tales of high school creep into the conversations and usually are followed by "that seems so long ago." Many times, references have been made to our freshmen years in college and that discussion frequently terminates in "he sure has changed," signalling our recognition of our development and maturity along with the way others have matured.

Semi-philosphical discussions like these prompt me to ask myself philosophical questions -- you know, the kind where there is no true answer because the question is so complex

Those philosophical questions also are the kind of questions I tell myself I couldn't have answered as a teenager. But now that I am such the mature 20 year old with insight into life, I find the thoughts appropriate.

With age, according to the cliche, comes wisdom. However, as I have matured, I have discovered wisdom really is not what I seek. Instead I am looking for something a little different -- understanding.

I see wisdom as an admirable trait, but one that is truly powerless. Wise people are able to give advice, but of what substantive good is the advice? For a person who is satisfied with advising others, wisdom is a good thing. However, for those people -- including myself --who seek to implement changes in society through the life I lead, wisdom is nice to have around, but serves no immediate purpose.

For example, a wise person could read someone's palm and foresee that the person will live for only two more days because the end of his or her lifeline has arrived, but that person has no control over the outcome.

Similarly, with wisdom it seems that wise adages and nifty Chinese proverbs flow from my mouth, but all they are little phrases of advice. And as for the Chinese proverbs the meanings can be fabricated easily because people seldom understand them.

As a child I remember the word "why" coming out of my mouth seemingly hundreds of times, and just as readily, "because I said so," spewing from my parents'. As I have grown older that canned answer no longer answers my questions.

If I were to ask my mother, "Why is that man dressed in tattered, grimy clothes and why is he eating the leftover food that I just threw in the garbage can," my parents' reply -- "because I said so" -- would not answer my question.

Similarly, if Confucius were to return to earth with his abundance of wisdom intact, he would not be able to answer the question.

Possibly he could spit out something in a Chinese dialect translated to mean "he who eats from the garbage would not indulge in the fruit of knowledge, but rotten fruit," but this also would not answer the question. Therefore I know it is not wisdom I seek, but something else.

Maybe I am seeking knowledge. By asking for knowledge, one looks for facts. Facts can help to solve a problem, however, they will not always provide the best solution to a problem.

For example, if you are given a formula and are able to solve a problem certainly something has been achieved. However that achievement is lessened if, after having solved the problem, the solution is incomprehensible.

With all of these considerations, I realize what I am seeking as I grow older is understanding. With understanding comes the ability to actually change things given the choice, because you know the origin of the problem, why it exits and moreover why people want it or do not want it to exist.

There are so many things to question in life and even more things to understand. Given understanding, wisdom will evolve.

The understanding I am seeking is not that which answers the kind of questions I asked as a child such as, "Why are the leaves green in the summer and dead in the winter." Any basic life science book can provide that knowledge and understanding.

The understanding I am seeking is mostly that of people, more specifically, individuals. The largest problems in our society are not those inflicted by nature, but by people. Therefore, understanding people's motives and thinking abilities and actions in certain situations, one is able to solve problems.

Some of the largest problems in our society, such as drugs, exemplify my reasoning. We know both the long as well as short term effects of drugs on the body. We know some of its users. The only understanding we do not have is why people take drugs.

That question has many different answers because it would have to be asked to every individual drug user. Therefore it would not suffice to have the understanding of some people; the understanding of all people is needed.

With the understanding of all individuals I also would have the answer to a question that has long plagued me: "How can someone actually harm another person for no other reason than because their skin is not the same color?"

The understanding of just a few people would not be sufficient in every case because not everyone is capable of hurting someone for that reason, except certain individuals.

Such thoughts continue to bombard my head, reminding me that I am growing older. I realize I will never understand all people and situations I come in contact with. However, given the choice of wisdom or understanding, I would choose the more hopeful and useful one for me -- understanding.