The number of women who are abused in relationships has become so high that it is now considered a norm in America, said Cathy Bouvia, director of the Center County Women's Resource Center.

Bouvia spoke last night about what constitutes these unhealthy relationships before an audience of approximately 60 people in East Halls as part of the University's "Healthy Loving Week" under the title "Why Do People Stay in Abusive Relationships." The group consisted of an equal number of men and women.

"A lot of people have a hard time understanding that kind of a thing (abusive relationships)," said Bouvia. "They may say ,'Well if this happens, why are they together?"

Abusive relationships occur when the male, in 95% of all such cases, batters the female by either emotional, physical or sexual means or in a combination of all three, Bouvia said.

The different patterns of control that are put on the victim include intimidation and isolation as well as sexual, economic, psychological and emotional controls, she said.

Bouvia cited common myths associated with abusive relationships. One of the most popular is that the woman is machoistic and wants to be beaten, she said.

"Of the literally hundreds of women that I've ever talked who've been abused, I have never heard one say that she likes to be hurt," said Bouvia. "I have heard guilt, shame, fear and embarrassment but never (that) they love it."

Another myth is that the man loses control and therefore hits the victim, she said.

"Its pretty well thought out," Bouvia said. "They are careful about when they hit and where they hit."

The last and most dangerous of the myths is blaming the victim, she said.

"No one asks to be hit or deserves to be hit, " Bouvia said.

"People who batter feel the need to have control over another person in their lives . . . and they see violence as an acceptable means to accomplish that goal."

"One important thing you must know is where to turn to," said Patricia Johnson, assistant director of the Womens Resource Center on campus. "One third to one half of abuses result in physical injury."

Help is available for those in need at the Center County Women's Resource Center, Bouvia said.

Aid includes free and confidential assistance on a hotline (234-5050), in counselling and court procedures. The resource center also provides emergency shelter for battered women, she said.

Bouvia said she sees the problem being solved in America little by little.

To eradicate the problem society must take the cases of abuse more seriously, stop condoning them, report them and stop blaming the victim, she said.

"I feel that this is an area that we need programming in," said Lin Altmire, administrator for East Halls. Altmire was responsible for setting up the program.

"I think the program gives people a better idea of what constitutes a bad relationship, " she said. "I hope they realize what's keeping (battered victims) in - the first step is coming to terms with the problem."